Beating a urine drug test
Whenever possible, you want to abstain from drug-use prior to any drug test with a recommended two month break before you take the test. If this is not possible, then you might require other methods of passing a drug test.
The first rule
Drink a lot of water this can help you in more ways than you know.
The second rule
Purging impurities from your body. Making sure you urinate every time you need to before the test will remove more of what your body is holding on to. Always avoid having to test with the first urine you create each morning as this is the most potent and concentrated. With the occasional shy-bladder, most testers will ask you to consume large quantities of water to make the test easier-take their advice!
The third rule
Adjust the cycle your body normally sleeps through. The earlier you are up and out of bed, the more times you will use the bathroom prior to the test. Sometimes it helps to stay awake all night long drinking water.
The fourth rule
Using your glands. If you happen to know where you could crank up a sauna, you will excrete many impurities through your sweat. Some metabolites, including THC, are held within fatty tissue, so you can try a vigorous exercise routine to help pass the test. Remember, increasing your water intake will not cover up your illicit drug use, but if you dilute the concentration in your body, you might still pass the test. This will boil down to your bare-minimum defense strategy.
Another basic strategy will be making sure to list possible medications that could show up on your drug screen, so when you are asked to sign the consent form, write in the word 'month' where it says 'within the last week' and let them know that there is a chance of a flu medication you consumed about three weeks ago showing up so they do not argue your strategy.
How long your body retains traces of drugs is shown in the list shown below:
- Amphetamines 20-25 days
- Barbituates 10-14 days
- Cocaine 2-4 days
- Ethyl Alcohol 1-2 days
- LSD 20-40 days
- Marijuana 14-30 days
- Methaqualone 14-21 days
- Opiates 10-14 days
- PCP or Phenocyclidine 10-14 days
Many factors can cause variation in the lenght of retention, these factors include the metabolism, the weight of the body, BMI and how much you actually took and the drug's concentration.
There are counterparts in the form of Over The Counter drugs for almost every prohibited drug. Below you will find a list containing cross-reacting drugs. You should list those drugs on your consent form.
First you need to find out which test the facility uses. The three most common tests are the Abuscreen (RIA), the ToxiLab (TLC) and the EMIT test. Unfortunately, if you facility uses Gas chromatography or mass-spectrometry, then there is no way to pass a test if you have been using drugs. It cannot be cheated on and it will find anything and everything within your system. Typically this test is only used to confirm a positive test, so it should not be feared in most circumstances. RIA will screen for LSD but the EMIT test doesn't. RIA doesn't scan for barbituates or ethyl alcohol but the EMIT test will. There are no current tests for Ecstasy, nicotine, Psylocybin or mescaline. The military uses the RIA test and most government agencies use the EMIT test. Individual companies typically use an equal combination of TLC and EMIT, but both can be equally beaten.
About 5% of the population cannot urinate with an audience within ear shot and even more people cannot urinate with someone watching. This is known medically as 'blushing kidneys'. There is no way to know if you fall into this category or not, so most people being tested persist that they cannot go while being watched, thus ensuring more distance with observation. Using your body as a way to block their view can help, including making sure your hands obscure what the observer can see. Distracting the observer can also help, such as a polite request to run some water in the sink. Make sure to practice each procedure at home if you plan to use any for a test. Most observers are equally as embarrassed as the person taking the test, so use that to your advantage when you can. If it takes you a while to go, then the group of people next in line will grow and the observer may be more apt to allow you the privacy you require for your 'slight of hand' to take place. Just remember the point of all of this is to put someone's clean urine in the cup instead of your own, without being caught.
Most tests include the reading of the temperature of each sample, so make sure the urine you use will pass this test. Tests look for a range of 90.5 °Fto 99.8 °F(33 °C to 37.5 °C). The first thing you need to do is make sure the sample you are using is pure. Make sure your source is not going to get you caught, using only the purest of possible samples. You will want a fresh sample whenever possible, only storing it in the fridge or freezer if necessary. If you make it to two months of drug-free existence, then freezing your own samples in preparation may be your best bet. The substitution of yellow-colored water or animal urine is not recommended as they are incredibly easy to detect.
Now you have the pure sample that is at the right temperature. Next, how do you get it where you need it? We recommend using a disposable drainage bag that you can buy from a drug store for patients who cannot wait to use a bathroom. The different sizes allow you to find what is going to work best for you, but the large leg size is going to fit most easily around your waist with the least amount of detection. Adding a piece of rubber tube can make the cap and tube assembly a bit easier to fill. When you know the test is coming, fill the bag with your sample, sealing it without air inside. With the maximum time that a sample can sit being 18 hours, put it on when you are about an hour away from taking the test if possible. If your test gets delayed, make sure to put the bag back into the fridge to store for when your test is no longer delayed. Just make sure the bag has as much contact with your skin as is possible.
The flatter you are able to make the bag, the better. You do not want it to be easily seen. Gravity can help conceal things better, that is why the abdomen is recommended over the leg. Taping the bag in place will help keep it where you want it, but there are options outside of using tape as well. Sometimes the use of panties or boxer briefs can hold the bag in place, just make sure the bag does not fall out when those articles are removed for the test itself. Incontinence items can also be used instead of tape to hold the bag in place. We do not recommend the use of panty hose unless there is a specific hole cut into them for the tube to go through when doing the test. When performing the test, get the tube from its place and bring it down near your crotch. This is when practice will have made perfect. Using the cap to adjust the flow, empty your sample into the cup or jar and make sure to not attract attention.
Once you have given your sample, make sure to put the cap back on and go about your normal routine. If you happen to drop a little on the seat or your shoe, most observers would consider this a normal part of the routine for someone that is not trying to beat a drug test. Most people who have to observe this procedure will be looking for something bulky or for you to pull something from your pocket. They are not looking for something that comes out only when you are actually trying to urinate. Plus, while they can ask you to remove a jacket or sweatshirt, a strip search or even frisking you is not allowed, so this is a great method to try and use. The little hose is almost automatically concealed, so you are really the only one who knows about its existence. The normal stance of a person trying to urinate will typically hide this procedure without you needing to do anything extra and the body-heat will give you an authentic result when all is said and done.
It takes about an hour for a refrigerated sample to be the proper temperature, longer if the sample has been frozen. However, if you prefer a different method than the bag, condoms come in a close second place. Non-lubricated, reservoir-tipped condoms provide a great method of transport for those not wanting to use a bag. Fill one condom and tie it, then slip a second over the top to make sure nothing leaks or bursts. Next you will want to tape it to your body as near to the crotch as is humanly possible (or place it inside the vagina for women). Then you can either use a pin that you have concealed for the test or a fingernail that you have sharpened to a point, and poke a hole in the condom, allowing the sample to fill the cup. Make sure you take the time to practice this at home with water so that you are sure you have it down pat before a test is performed.
If you can dilute your sample once in the jar, you will find increased effectiveness over diluting your sample while inside your bladder. That is why Edwin Meese required every federal toilet to have blue dye put into it prior to a drug test. Many people used the toilet water to dilute their sample, so this became required in order to catch more people who would otherwise have tested positive. Now, if you have a test sprung on you, there are still options. One, try using toilet water if the water is clear. Half of the cup filled with water and the other half filled with your sample should be plenty to dilute you below a positive result. Make sure you shake up the sample when done so that it mixes evenly. Warming the jar up before turning it in will also help it appear to be the right temperature. Use your finger if necessary to check the temperature, and just be sure to wash up once done. Two, if the toilet is dyed, try carefully (and quietly) using water from the toilet's tank. This is a source of clear water that most people tend to forget about. The same procedure works with this. You can even try using a bit of warm water on the outside of the sample jar to warm it up if your hands are not warming it up quickly enough, but don't overheat it or you could get caught based on that. Remember not to flush if you are told that you are not supposed to, and never use saliva to try and dilute your urine. Your spit will get you caught quite quickly if you try and use that because of the metabolites that come along with the sample. Just be creative if you are caught off-guard with a drug test you were not expecting. A little dilution can go a long way!
Each person will have slightly different colored urine than the next, and that color will change from morning til night. The one constant, however, is the yellowish tinge that most urine comes in. Most observers tend to look for a stronger color of urine, so if you dilute yours and it tends to look too pale, here are a few tips that will help bring back that strong color that may help you pass your test. Vitamin C tablets or capsules give your sample a darker coloring, so when diluted, it looks quite normal. Your vitamins typically also increase odor, so that will also be cut back down to normal when diluted. Iodized salt will also deceive the EMIT tests for nearly every substance when used in a concentration of three tablespoons to one sample and quickly stirred to dissolve the salt. The point behind this is the salt will increase how conductive the sample is, which makes the reagents used for the test unable to bind with what would normally make the test return as positive. You do have to make sure every bit of salt is dissolved, however, as leaving some in the bottom will definitely make your test incriminate you. You can also use one of these ideas to pass the test: 3-4 tablespoons of chlorine bleach mixed with the sample, 3-4 tablespoons of ammonia mixed with the sample or ¼ cup hydrogen peroxide mixed with the sample should also have the same results as the salt.